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How to Become a Sober Gay

How can being a sober gay help your finances?

How much do you spend on alcohol each month? You may be surprised by how much drinking affects your finances. Hear how much money Dillan Gay, The Sober Gay, saved when he quit drinking.

Hear Dillan’s success with being the sober gay:

Live fabulously as a sober gay

For ten years, Dillan Gay drank a bottle of red wine every night. He didn’t bother to pay his bills on time (even though he had the money), and he had even stopped caring about the people around him. Then, on December 15, 2019, he made the decision to quit drinking and change his life. Today, Dillan is the host of The Sober Gay Podcast, a show that explores sobriety in the queer community. On this episode of Queer Money®, Dillan joins us to discuss how his life has changed for the better since he got sober and share how much he has saved in terms of time and money. He weighs in on socializing without alcohol in the LGBTQ community, explaining what he does as an alternative to drinking and how we’ve been conditioned to associate alcohol with a glamorous life. Listen in for Dillan’s insight around the warning signs of alcohol dependency and learn his no-rules approach to getting sober on your own terms.


Topics covered on the Sober Gay

What Dillan’s life was like before he got sober

  • Bottle of red wine every night for 10 years
  • Living unrealistically with alcohol as guide

How much Dillan has saved since he quit drinking

  • $6,341 and 1,865 hours of time
  • Tangential expenses (i.e.: takeout, Amazon)

How Dillan handled bills when he was drinking

  • Had money but didn’t bother to pay
  • Electric shut off regularly, car repossessed

Dillan’s insight around alternatives to drinking

  • Seltzer with shot of cranberry when out
  • Rewire brain (What makes me happy?)

How Dillan thinks about socializing without drinking

  • Ease into sobriety when meet new people
  • In control of feelings, leave when want

How Dillan handles the pressure to have ‘one drink’

  • People conditioned to socialize with alcohol
  • Up to him to educate friends on situation

The warning signs that inspired Dillan to get sober

  • Feeling of guilt every morning
  • Black out and wake up with stranger

How to help a friend who struggles with alcohol

  • Suggest other activities besides drinking
  • Evaluate own problems, lead by example

The myth that alcohol is glamorous

  • Conditioned to associate drinking with class
  • Potential to destroy health, personal life

Dillan’s top resources for getting sober

  • Quit Lit (especially The Naked Mind)
  • Apps for meditation, CBT therapy

Connect with Dillan

Resources to get sober

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