Gay body positivity (especially after 40)
We bring back to Queer Money®, Elite Personal Trainer and bodybuilder Aaron Guy who shares fitness tips for men 40-year-olds and older and helps gay men achieve that elusive gay body positivity.
40-year-old fitness with Aaron Guy
The Telegraph published ‘Why 40 Is The New Age of Fitness’ a few years back. The article talked about how, at least in the UK, there’s a trend of men in their 40s getting back in shape. We find this interesting because it wasn’t too long ago that the “dad bod” was the trend.
We agree with that Will & Grace episode about the difference between “straight fat” and “skinny fat”; however, it does seem even gay men have let themselves go relative to the body image-obsessed 1990s and 2000s. Aaron Guy shares what he’s seeing in Los Angeles and Chicago in both the queer and straight communities.
We share the fitness struggles we’re experiencing in our 40s, which are probably struggles with which many men in their 40s identify. We also share exercises and exercise regimens we follow, much of what we see other men in their 40s doing at the gym that isn’t serving us. Aaron educates us on what we should and shouldn’t be doing.
We also discuss exercises we did in our 20s that don’t benefit us in our 40s. The good news is that even gay men in their 40s can still have fabulous beach bodies if we do age-appropriate exercises. Check out this Queer Money® and get started on a path back to fitness today.
Aaron Guy on Queer Money®:
But do gay men have unhealthy gay body positivity expectations?
The ideal gay male form was impressed upon those of us born in the 1970s and later by the HIV/AIDS crisis. To appear healthy and, in a sense, to be healthier, HIV/AIDS patients often hit the gym hard, drank the muscle shakes, and, in some cases, took steroids. This helped fight one of the consequences of contracting HIV/AIDS, losing an unhealthy amount of muscle mass.
However, things have changed. We talked a lot about body positivity today. “Love yourself for who you are, no matter your shape or size.” “Love me for who I am, no matter my shape or size. And if you don’t, you’re a dick.” But have things really changed? Have we all improved our level of consciousness when it comes to accepting and loving each other no matter what our bodies look like, or are we all talk?
A recent poll of ours in a large gay Facebook group showed that the leading reason why gay men feel they’re not living their best lives is their bodies. Likewise, as business owners, we know that our content will always get more clicks, likes, comments, and shares when we include a guy or a couple with lean, muscley bodies with skin showing.
If we reached that higher level of consciousness and acceptance, we wouldn’t still be so ashamed of our bodies to claim the way we look is why we’re most unhappy. We also would be as inclined to engage with content showing men who didn’t look like they won a gold medal in diving.
We say, stop body shaming yourself and each other, and stop shaming people for their preferences. We’re all doing our best to live a happy life, and none of us is truly woke enough to cast the first stone.
Get more truth about gay body positivity in the gay community on this Queer Money Follow-Up:
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We’re David and John Auten-Schneider, the Debt Free Guys (www.debtfreeguys.com) and hosts of the Queer Money® podcast. We help queer people (and allies) live fabulously not fabulously broke, by helping them 1) pay off credit card debt, 2) become part- or full-time entrepreneurs and 3) save and invest for retirement.